


Graveyards

by miniaturemice



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fear, Future Plans, Hopes and Dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-21
Updated: 2012-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-08 05:57:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miniaturemice/pseuds/miniaturemice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You didn’t get to see all the sights you wanted to see or do all the things you ever wanted to so I’ll do them all for you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Graveyards

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Why I Don't Go to Church Anymore](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/9373) by Erin Cade. 



Some folks can't stand school. Others, the hospital. I know Dally never liked the cooler and for Steve, it was home. Darry couldn't stand driving by the college because of all the broken dreams that resided there and Soda's having a hard time with going places he used to go with Sandy. For Johnny, it was the cold and hard streets that he would forever walk on; winding and sprawling. Never stopping, his footfalls loud on the crunch of the gravel. Me?

I ain't too fond of churches.

It didn't use to be that way. They didn't creep me out so much back then.

Now, I walk faster each time I pass by one. They stifle me like thick smog from then. It doesn't matter if it was the church in the centre of town or any other. I'll always remember that _one_. I still can't stand bologna. I don't even have to see it to taste it. That taste. It brings back awful memories. Not the ones of the days we spent in the church. It brought back memories of what came after. I turn green every time I smell it till even Darry and Soda caught on. They quit eating it after that. I felt bad because bologna's one of the cheapest foods available but Darry wouldn't ever buy them again. I felt relieved when he said that, if a bit guilty.

It's a Sunday morning when I walk by the church. I can hear the heavy murmurings from the inside. Instantly,I remembered the last time I was in church before the fire.I was with Soda, Steve, Two-Bit and of course, Johnny. They fooled about till Johnny and I sank down in our seats, flushing red. The minute the service was done, I ran out, nearly beating a path to the door amongst the sharply-dressed Socs.

"It wasn't that bad," Johnny said as we walked back. The guys decided to go to a party which sounded a little wrong to me. A party after church? And who threw a party this early? Johnny said he'd rather go with me but I think it was just because he knew I would feel lonely without them.

"Johnny, I am not gonna forget how they looked at us anytime soon," I grumbled, accepting his offer of a cancer stick.

Johnny laughed. "One day, we'll be old men talking about the good old days and laughing at this, Pony."

"Easy for ya to say. This is gonna last forever."

Johnny smiled, one of those rare times that it wasn't a scared or half-fearful one. "You'll see, Pony, nothing lasts forever."

Well, Johnnycakes, death does. And as much as I wish it didn't, it does. I wish everyday, you and Dally were still with us. I wish that could have become our reality, sitting together as old men, smoking and laughing at ourselves. My parents, too. I wish they were here to ruffle my hair and smile at me. But you're in a better place now and I have to remember that. Maybe someday, I'll be able to go to church again without seeing the black smoke or hearing your screams. I owe that much to you, Johnny.

I owe it to you that I get past as many things as I can. Because you didn't. 

You didn't get to see all the sights you wanted to see or do all the things you ever wanted to so I'll do them all for you. I'll stay gold for you as long as I can and when I can't, I'll try harder. I'm nearly home now but over the roof I can still see the cross looming over. I see in my mind's eye, your dark eyes shining and I heard the reckless bark of a laugh. I look over again at the giant cross, visible from even here. Maybe another time, Johnnycakes.

**Author's Note:**

> Erin Cade at FF.net was generous and gave me permission to do a take on her fic. I hope you'll read the original. It's lovely and inspired me to write this. Again, I wrote this when I was 14 and I've cleaned it up.


End file.
